Hi, I have read all the posts here on PSI and I would like to add what happened to me. I had a friend, a very good friend, recommend PSI to me about three years ago. I attended the basic class and immediately felt invigorated. I noticed a change in my attitude towards my husband and family. Looking back on it I was a bitch. Nothing was good enough and I wanted more from my relationships then was reasonable. I tried to get my husband to sign up for the basic on the third day of class. He refused after he asked me to describe what they do there; I told him that he would have to experience it for himself, which I see is a common statement in most of these posts. I was angry at him for not wanting to support me in my need to have him attend. Later I came to understand why. The facilitor told all of us that PSI is a tool to a happier life and everyone in your life will not understand what you have gone through until they attend also. I remember the slogan “resistance is persistence.” If the people who love you don’t attend the seminars they are holding you back, so you need to leave them behind.
At the end of the basic I signed up for PSI 7 at a cost of $3000.00 dollars. I took the money from our joint account. My husband was obviously upset with this but I didn’t care. I felt this change/experience was worth the cost and the grief it cost me with him. He put his foot down and said enough is enough.
I went to the ranch and participated in the pole, the wall, the ledge, the barn dance and wore the clothing that was selected by my PSI buddy. Clothing that I felt uncomfortable wearing in even a private setting. I looked into the eyes of several men, strangers to me up to then, and felt like they actually wanted to have a relationship with me, beyond the physical. I felt they had seen the real person underneath. I came home gushing like I had the time of my life. My husband was angry as I left without a word of warning to him or my family. He had even called the police to report me missing. I even signed up for the Leadership Seminar for $3600.00 dollars and charged it to my credit card. My husband blew up at me, asking me if I had lost my mind.
I told him upon my return that if he loved me he would find the time and money to attend the training. I told him that it would save our marriage. Looking back on it our marriage was on its fifth year and we were both happy. We were both looking forward to our lives together and starting a family. And more importantly he was my best friend. He suggested marriage counseling and we set up an appointment.
After speaking to the therapist I felt like she was ganging up on me so I refused to go back. Three weeks after returning from PSI7 I left my husband and filed for divorce. I gave up the man I had married, the one who protected me from harm. The man who told me he loved me more than anyone in his life. I gave up my husband, my best friend, for my own self interests when I should have known better.
I was out on my own and loving the attention I got from my PSI brothers and sisters. The support for my move, or shift, was almost overwhelming. I felt that the people in my group were the only ones who could understand; they were the only ones who would love and support me; my husband and family were strangers to me now even though I had their love and support for my entire life. I would communicate with my PSI group on a yahoo group site, but the communication was short lived as they started having their own problems. The group stopped talking and the messages died out after a few short months. In the meantime I quit my job and started looking for something better.
While waiting for the divorce to go through I stayed with my best friend, but the relationship was strained as my husband and her husband were also friends. Her husband started watching me and would inform his wife that under no circumstance would she be going to PSI. I tried to get her to go to PSI. I tried so hard to convince her that this was the right decision for me but she continued to tell me that I should tried to work things out with my husband. I saw this as being unsupportive, moved out and dropped that friendship. We were friends for 10 years. I had learned one thing from PSI and that was not to do what people expected me to do. I moved in with my mom and this was more than she could take. She asked me to leave after two months. I was staffing the basic and playing PLD and trying to get others to enroll for the basic. I failed to see that I was on a course of self destruction and I was still looking for a job.
In the meantime the divorce was finalized, the house was sold and after taking a loss on the property I moved into an apartment until I could save some money. I bought a house a few months after the divorce. I bought the house for more then I could effort and I didn’t care. I also bought a new car and later had that repossessed because I couldn’t afford both the car and the house. I felt that this was my reality and everything would be alright.
After a time I decided that I needed to find another man in my life. I see references to that “number 10 relationship.” This was what I was looking for. I attempted liaisons with several men and could not find one that could understand why I had this attitude towards life. I wanted more and I wanted it immediately, but the world was not cooperating with my reality. I turned to an internet dating service and started looking for the “perfect” relationship and after meeting a few men I found the one I was looking for. He wined and dined me, told me that I was perfect for him. I thought I had found that number 10 relationship. I took this relationship for what I thought it was, LOVE. I was so involved with the relationship with this man that I decided immediately to move in with him when he asked me. We had only dated three months. I sold my house and moved in with him. The little money I had earned from the sale went into a joint account and he spent it on one of his new toys. I failed to pay attention that this man, my number 10 relationship, had just divorced his second wife a few short months before I met him on the internet. He had four small kids from his first marriage and I became a baby sitter when he wanted to go out with the boys on weekends and drink half his salary.
It was about 2 years after PSI7 he asked me to marry him. We were married and a few weeks afterward he quit his job and had me put him and his four kids on my health insurance. He stayed at home and would expect me to wait on him and his kids hand and foot when I got home from work. It was a few short months later when realizations started to hit home. I was asking myself what the hell I was doing with this man and his kids. He was treating me like I was nothing more than a maid. This was my number 10 relationship?
I realize now that I am the failure. Not as a PSI graduate, but as a human being and as a woman and a wife. I was duped into believing that PSI was the answer to everything wrong in my life. I threw away my first husband, a man I loved for a relationship with 78 strangers. People who said they loved me, not because of who I was, but because of what they had made us. The relationship with these people did not last. My first husband suffered the most as he tried several times to get me to see reason after I left. I threw away my friends as they refused to see my point of view when in actuality I should have seen theirs. My point of view was more important. My family disowned me after my outbursts towards them when they refused to listen to my new found views on life.
It is now too late to go back and fix the wrongs I did, and I have tried. My ex-husband refuses to talk or even see me, and I can’t really blame him. I left him without any explanation. I didn’t even shed a tear over the loss of our marriage, he once said I ripped the heart from his chest and didn’t even think enough on our relationship to take the time to smash it. And he was right, that is exactly what I did.
Now I am in a broken marriage to another fool who takes me for granted, treats me like I am his slave, and I have no where to go, no one to turn to, and this is what I wanted in life? Even the friend who introduced me to PSI dumped her marriage and is pretty much in the same boat I’m in. And I hate her for getting me involved in this.
I was a stupid, arrogant, self centered fool. I agree, PSI does give you the tools, the tools to destroy your life. It destroyed my life with a good man and earned me the likes of the “Al Bundy” personality I’m with now. I am ashamed of what I did. I am ashamed of what I have become and I would not recommend PSI for anyone.
Sorry for the long post.
Congratulations for having the courage to speak up about PSI, and for having the courage to examine what happened.
Many people are too embarrassed to take a good look at what happened when they start realizing what these LGATs are really about and it keeps them stuck in a destructive life pattern.
I hope that your post will help you on your way to healing yourself.
I think it is important to take a little responsibility for some of the decisions you made, but also it is important to recognize that PSI manipulated you and countless others with methods that are anything but transparent and open. They bear the greater responsibility by far.
Real friends don't try to turn you against those you have always loved, against those you have enjoyed good long-term relationships with.
Coming forward with your story could help others if you are prepared to answer questions as I am sure some people have. There are a number of people on these boards who have lost spouses in a very similar way to PSI.
Know that all your answers lie within you, and know that within you lies a special person.
All the best.
Thank you very much for the detailed post. That type of truth-telling is the first step to moving forward, in my opinion.
Most of these "LGATS" work in a very similar way.
I will throw out a few ideas for you, and you can consider if they have any value for you.
First, it seems you are "blaming yourself" for what happened after PSI far too much. We need to remember that the people running these types of groups are not used car salesmen. They are EXTREMELY sophisticated manipulators in the arts of "Influence".
It could be that you are just more "suggestible" as some people are more suggestible than others. This means that all of the techniques they run at PSI, could affect you much more powerfully that other people.
So there is no need to beat yourself up, those PSI folks are experts in manipulation and persuasion. They really know how to mess with your mind, and that appears to be what happened to you.
It happens to most of us, at one time or the other.
I got sucked into LGAT's hook-line-and-sinker when I was younger too. It took many years to figure it all out, and then move on. Some of us are just more "suggestible" and thus these types of Social Influence can really take us over.
But moving forward, I would encourage you to continue to educate yourself about LGAT's, as much as possible. That helps to figure things out. Read all you can about their methods and techniques.
Write about your experiences, and reflect. This also helps the healing process. Write about everything the PSI folks did to you, and how they did it. Write, write, and write some more, online, and in private.
Find a good Cognitive-Behaviorial Therapist, and work through some things.
But don't ever give up hope. You have paid a high price, but many have also. Many people have gone bankrupt from these LGAT's, as they work people into a frenzy of spending. (The Tony Robbins LGAT''s are notorious for people spending all the money they don't have on more courses, courses, courses). [board.rickross.com]
Many lose their homes.
Many get divorced.
Many don't get proper health care due to Quackery.
Sometimes it can take years to work it through.
BUT, once you have figured it out, and know what happened, and have recovered, then you will have LEARNED what happened to you, and how they did it. Then its far less likely anyone can ever do this to you again.
I have said for years that its the "regular folks and soccer moms" who are the most harmed by LGAT's, like the Tony Robbins one. Why? Because they might not have the psychological defences of a hard-nosed entrepreneur, perhaps. The LGAT's are able to take the most KIND, decent, and trusting people, and literally almost wreck their minds.
People who are already kind of nasty, are harder for them to mess with!
Its the "nice folks" who really get screwed.
So there are many stories of recovery, and once you are able to work everything through and understand, you really can come out as a stronger person on the other side. But it takes time.
These LGAT's at this point function like a type of Big Brother "mind control" system, and are very, very sophisticated. Don't blame yourself, it can happen to anyone.
But if we learn a bit more everyday about LGAT's and related issues, we can come out of a stronger and more adept person.
All the best.
Oh Jeri442, I really feel for the price that you have paid.
My only suggestion for your husband is that perhaps you could print out a copy of what you have written and send it to him. I don't think for a moment that it will magically undo everything, but it might be a help in the right direction.
All the best to you. Keep on telling your story to anyone who will listen.
Hi everyone, thanks for letting me join. I started doing research on PSI a few weeks ago as I have a major problem with my husband. First I have not attended PSI nor have I taken any Large Group Awareness Training Programs, therefore I have no idea what they do there except what I have learned on the board and other sites. My husband has also not attended PSI.
My husband and I have been married for about 2 years this past October and were dating a year before that. The relationship is very good except for the fact that his first wife attended PSI7 a few weeks before she left him about five years ago. (This was my first marriage and his second.) Unfortunately my husband still runs in the same circle of friends as his ex-wife. The rumors run rampant, people think she is out of her mind and naturally they go to him and tell him what’s going on in her life.
My husband has started coming home these past few months with the rumors that are currently going around about his ex. A few months ago, after several failed relationships, she started dating guys from an internet dating service, apparently met a man who has been married twice before and has some children from one of those marriages (not sure which). This new guy it seems is not the nicest person. Lately it seems she has made some drastic changes to her life style. I would have said it appears that she is suffering from a midlife crisis but after reading this material I can see she might still be under the influence of PSI. I would add that I do not know if she is still attending the seminars.
When she left my husband a few years ago she immediately purchased a new house and car, neither of which she could afford. The house was lost to a foreclosure and the car repossessed several months later. Several times she has called my husband asking him for money and because money was tight he gave her what she could so as to not damage their credit rating. He found out later she was buying more of these seminars and it had placed him in a hole financially as well. After being gone for six months she filed for a divorce leaving him with most of her bills.
Now when I met my husband I was taken with the shy, but confident person he was. He was a kind and caring man who loves his family and friends. He would give you the clothes off his back and is always ready to lend a hand to a friend. He has a heart of gold and I love him for the person he is. During our dating relationship I thought he was haunted by something in his past as there was always something distant about him. I fell in love with the man and I initiated a relationship with him after he had been divorced for two years. But I now believe that my husband still loves his ex-wife, and it is hard for him to gain some distance from his relationship with her. According to him he was unaware what PSI was about at the time she was initially going to it as she was very level headed when they were dating and later married. She always had a sharp sense of herself and took care of things like most of us do in the course of our lives. After taking PSI she returned with a new found attitude and started spending money like it was water. She spent their savings and charging the seminars to their credit cards, which left him in debt to the amount of $30,000 dollars. Guess who had to pay when she left and divorced him?
So for the past few weeks my husband comes home and seems to be depressed. Last week he told me the reason that he is having problems with all this and that is why he is sometimes preoccupied; he is worried about his ex-wife. He told me that he considered her the ‘true love’ of his life and continues to love her in a spiritual sense. He says he loves me, but is still haunted by his feelings for her. He said he sometime thinks of her when he sees something or someone that reminds him of her and is sadden when he thinks of the loss of his marriage. He said he is reminded of the good times and thinks that his marriage to her could have been saved if she had stayed away from PSI. These memories cause him to become depressed and more so lately when hearing the rumors about the damage she is doing to her life.
Now I have tried to understand why he feels this way and that’s why I am checking out these websites. I am afraid that I am going to lose him because of this. After reading the material here I am scared to death. I can’t see how someone can throw their marriage away after attending these seminars, but after reading several examples here I understand that she is too far gone to help. I also see why my husband has these feelings. I feel that this has scarred him more deeply than he lets on and I feel so bad for him. There was nothing he could have done to save his marriage and yet he stills feels responsible. How do I get him to understand this is not his fault, that it was her responsibility? I have tried to make him see what this group did to her but he still feels that he is supposed to take care of her. He even broke down and cried, cried so much I thought he was having a nervous break down.
I don’t want to tell him that this is putting our marriage in trouble for fear it will cause him to go into a deeper depression, and I don’t want it to be the end of my marriage, but it seems he is more concerned with her then he is for me. I am very scared for him as he has come to be very depressed about all this and it seems to be getting worse. I don’t know how much more I can take. For that matter I don’t know how much more he can take.
Anyone have any suggestions?
About thirty years ago, my first wife divorced me after taking all of the LifeSpring trainings (I took them, also, in an effort to keep things together).
In my view, all of these trainings get their power/influence from stripping away a person's established support structure & replacing it with the training companies.
As we've experienced, this leaves the people in the "old" support structure somewhat adrift.
I'm by no means a psychologist, but it sounds like your husband is grieving. If it were me, I'd try to get him to a qualified grief counselor asap.
I know how you feel, and I'm sorry you're having to go through this. Hang in there; this stuff takes time. Best of luck...
I found out that Landmark Forum offered their basic class to Officers of the Phoenix Police Department in October of 2004. The offer was made through the officers union who in turn told officers that if they took the classes they would get some type of college credit for attending and training credit through the state certification board. The stipulation was the officers, once they attended the class, they could sign up for additional classes and, of course, recruit their friends. Now the funny thing is the class was put on and several officers, who did attend, called their union and complained about the cult like tactics and the union called off any future classes and removed the Landmark class from the unions web site.
I also found out there was a county attorney in Phoenix who is involved with PSI seminars and she attempted to recruit several friends to PSI. She talked a girlfriend, who is a Phoenix Police Detective, into taking the basic and PSI7. After the friends return from PSI7 the friend left her husband. The husband managed to get into his wife’s yahoo group and sent all her family, friends, and her PSI group a letter about her involvement with PSI and how it destroyed their marriage.
As the husband of one PSI Graduate I would like to say to PSI seminars, “Thanks for destroying my marriage!!!!!!!!!” My wife was recruited to PSI by one of her girlfriends. My wife came back from the basic class and asked me to take this class, that it would be good for me. I asked her what the class was about and she wouldn’t tell me. Her exact words were "you have to experience it for yourself." When she “graduated” she asked me to attend her “graduation” on the following Wednesday. She said that she wanted me to show her that I support her in her life. I felt somewhat put out by that statement as I was very supportive of her and our life together.
I went to the ‘graduation” and found it to be nothing more than a sales pitch to sign up new recruits. I was approached by no less than four men, PSI grads with name tags no less, and asked if I would be signing up. When I said no, I was told the class would change my life. I said, “Thanks, but no thanks.” When asked why I wouldn’t take the basic I explained (very nicely I might add) that they had not shown me anything I felt I could use in my life. I was happy with my life as it was. I had a good marriage and life was good. Or it was good until PSI entered into it.
Unbeknownst to me, my wife paid these PSI idiots $3000.00 dollars at the end of the basic for PSI7. I didn’t find out about the money until a couple of months later when she told me she was leaving for a week to California. Now this was a complete surprise to me as she never told me about this trip. She also told me that I would be unable to contact her as the ranch had a strict policy on accepting telephone calls unless it was an emergency. She took off and no word from her all week. She returned and she was a different person. She was arrogant, rude and very self-centered. When I asked her what was wrong with her she said the one thing she had learned from PSI7 was not to do what people expected her to do. She was living her life the way she wanted, according to her reality. She told me she did not care what people think of her, she was going to live her life the way she wants. It was "I want to live my life, NOW."
All the telephone calls with her PSI Buddies were filled with statements like "awesome" and "I am so excited." I thought she was going out of her mind.
On the 30th day after her return she left and immediately filed for divorce. No explanation whatsoever. She has been gone a year now and I recently heard she attended their Leadership program for the sum of $4000.00 and that she had charged it to her credit card, which was maxed out already.
To add insult to injury I heard she started dating men on Eharmony.com and after several losing relationships has decided to put out feelers to see if I would be interested in taking her back. So much for 29 levels of compatibility, huh? Not that I see it working, but is this normal? I just started getting my life back to normal after all the bs with her involvement with PSI. Believe me when I say it has been a nightmare.
Robert-Paul I agree this is a nightmare.
I saw a post on here that mentioned MySpace.com. That got me to thinking and I checked for PSI on that site and I couldn't believe the response.
I did a search for people on MySpace.com and found that my husbands exwife is going to have some problems with the "new man" in life. He apparently posted a recent update to his blog and still lists himself as single and looking for a "serious" relationship.
I am afraid to show this to my husband.